While it sounds like a good trade off and even a fair way to deal with offense/forgiveness it is not how Jesus did it. Forgiveness does not start with the other person - it starts with you. Scripture like "while they were sinners, Christ died for them" (Romans 5:8) sticks out. Forgiveness is not about what they do to earn it. It is about how you respond to the Gospel. Forgiveness is about knowing and expressing that Jesus' cross was sufficient in paying for sin. They don't owe you payment for their sin before you forgive them. Jesus already paid for their sin. Remember all you did? Would you like to pay for that before you are forgiven? Jesus died to forgive sin. When we don't forgive and hold it over their heads till they ask or repent we set up another system of forgiveness. Remember that Jesus loves and died for the very person who hurt you. He loves them just as much as He loves you.
- "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins." - 2 Peter 1:5-9
- "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." - Proverbs 10:12
- "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8