Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Awana Awards Assembly
Another year of Awana has come and gone. What a year it was! 200+ kids, 70 workers, lots of changed lives! Can't wait till next year - it is our 10th year of Awana. The Awards Assembly was great. Tons of families. Tons of fun!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Pastor's Dilema
Ok, I can't sleep. I talked to a pastor today who was very discouraged in his church (no it is not someone from our church and no I'm not funneling my frustrations with ministry through a made up illustration - although....). I listened to him for a while and then gave my two cents and prayed for him. Later, my pastor (who hears from the Lord in an freakish timely way when I need just what he is saying) talked about fellowship and encouragement at our Life Group leader's meeting. My heart beat fast as I thought about all the pastors out there who never feel fulfilled in their ministries. They wonder if they are making a difference and if anyone cares about what they are doing for the Lord. They feel useless, used, beat up and friendless. No one, it seems, understands their frustrations, feelings or failures.
All pastors, whether they want to admit it or not, deal with this. Some say they don't to appear more spritual than others but deep down EVERYONE wants to know if they are being effective. Every Timothy needs a Paul (every Paul needs to remember he is still a Timothy). Someone who will speak the truth but will also listen, pray and cry with you.
Most of the time pastors don't have people they can really talk with about the things they deal with. People turn to pastors for their greatest crisis', failures and tragedies but who do pastors turn to? I know, I know. Pastors are supposed to be unshakeable, monumental, and able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Nothing, not even kryptonite, shakes a pastor - right? Most pastors don't have any accountability. Most don't feel like they can truly share life with their staff. Most pastors don't have a true friend. Even most pastor's wives don't understand what their husbands are going through because they aren't involved in it like he is.
What do most pastors do then? They pretend, hide and/or become numb to what they are facing. Most pastors don't feel like they can talk with their pastor or overseers/board because they assume they'll be looked at with a boss mentality instead a commrade. One thing though that every pastor needs is another pastor to talk to - to vent with, to pour out your heart to. Only another pastor can understand better than anyone else. They've been there.
All pastors receive criticism. How do you deal with it? All criticism needs to be looked at to see if it is true and, if so, corrections need to be made. The truth is that whatever the motive is, criticism hurts. Some hurts are good (that's weird to say) but without criticism, we wouldn't grow. The thing I've noticed is that it always hurts though. I've been criticized for the house I live in, how I preach, how much time I spend with my kids and how much time I spend without my kids. I get some that say good job on decisions and others that seem mad with the same decisions. You name it, I've seen the criticism. But, when criticism comes from those who know me and love me I try to always receive it and see what the Lord would have to say to me through it. The Proverb is true that wounds from a friend can be trusted, but real pain is experienced when those who don’t know or those who think they know your intentions in ministry attack you - most of the time in a conversation with someone else (never to your face), through an email, etc. Probalby the criticism that hurts the worst is that which comes after I've labored, prayed and sought the Lord about something.
Real pain occurs when people take a segment of what you said in a sermon or in a conversation and base an entire opinion about you on that. One thing I've learned in ministry - you will be misquoted and misrepresented (mostly by Christians). It's easier for those not mature in the Lord to talk about you than come to you and ask for clarity. Why is it the only time some people talk to you is when you've done something they don't agree with? Why is it they don't tell you about the 9,999 things you've done right?
What do you do though? The feelings come: "If I get remotely upset then I'll be seen as out of control. If I just ignore it then they feel like they were in the right. If I defend myself then I'll be viewed as insecure." If someone is attacking you though, you should search yourself by much prayer, time in the Word and counsel. If you need to repent, then do it. If you were in the wrong, then take care of it. If you are right - be humble about it but do confront and use the Word as your basis for being right.
Pastors, I also know that sometimes you "can never do anything right" in some people's eyes. Your hospital visits are either too long or not long enough. Your sermons are either too shallow or too deep. You're never in the office enough for some and for others, you're in there too much and never get with people. Your decisions are gold for some and ludicrous for others. You are expected to be the expert on all topics - everybody's Bible's dictionary. You must also be available for every phone call, e-mail and every random person that happens to drop by at all hours - even if it means missing your kids ballgames or dinner with your family. When we walk through the crowd we spend too much time with some people and not enough time with others. It seems as lose-lose situation. Because of the nature of the calling, a pastor's every move is being watched and, by many, scrutinized. You don't have 9-5 working hours. The nature of your job is you need to be available 24 hours a day, but who can do that? People will place expectations on a pastor that they would never be willing to live up to themselves. If he asks for help or says he is going under, some pastors are met with, “We pay your salary, get it done!"
This is why many pastors families simply fall apart. This is why many leave the pastorate frustrated and hurt. They sheepishly give in to every expectation placed on them. They never say no and do everything for selfish people who never lift a finger to help (ever notice that those who are negative never have answers or solutions?) So, the pastor spends all his time at every church function, ignores his family, and when his kids mess up a little, they are labeled as "the pastor's kids" and gossiped about instead of prayed for.
Ok, some of this I know is exaggerated. Sometimes, these feelings we have as pastors are vain imaginations. Sometimes it is one negative or critical thing that was actually said and we interprete that to mean we've failed at everything. Let me clarify - I'm fortunate to serve at Family Church. I feel like, for the most part, I can talk with my leadership about the issues of life and the pastorate. But EVERY pastor, including me, faces times of needing another pastor who won't judge, fire, preach at, etc. (even if these feelings are unjustifable). We just need a time to vent. We DO want and should expect our pastor/overseers to hold us accountable, reign us in with scripture, correct us, confront us and tell us things no one else will. A true pastor understands another pastor and knows how and when to tell them the truth (even if they don't want to hear it or ask for it).
Some realities you need to know as a pastor are - 1)things won't always go as planned, 2) no staff or church is perfect, (nothing on the otherside is greener. if it is, is only because they have more manure) 3) your pastor and congregation probably really do care for you, 4) you are not always right and need correction, wisdom and other's opinions, 5) people will let you down, 6) people need time to process your ideas/vision, (you didn't fully understand this thing that is so big inside of you the first time, how can they?), 7) don't let everything get under your skin, and 8) pick your battles.
The biggest reality is this: If you are a pastor who is struggling DON'T GIVE UP! Jesus faced what we do in ministry and identifies with you. What you have surrendered your life to - making disciples and seeing souls saved - is worth any headache, heartache, and pain you may face.
Let me finish by saying this - I love being a pastor. What a calling! What an honor! What an adventure! I've thought about and struggled with every thought I've mentioned above. I've overcome most of them but some reoccur. I've learned to take all these thought captive unto the obedience of Christ. I've learned to talk with my leaders/pastor when they arise. I don't have it all figured out. I'm not the perfect pastor - just ask those who serve under me(on second thought, don't do that). Seriously, if you are a pastor and need an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on, I'll do my best. I promise, like I hope all pastors would, not to agree with you in your negativity or pity party (that's not what most of us want or are doing anyway). I promise to show you the Word and not just "be on your side". Most of us desire a friend - a fellow pastor who will pray with us, challenge us and listen to us. If I can be that to you, I'll do my best. Email me at sharrison@familychurch.ws
All pastors, whether they want to admit it or not, deal with this. Some say they don't to appear more spritual than others but deep down EVERYONE wants to know if they are being effective. Every Timothy needs a Paul (every Paul needs to remember he is still a Timothy). Someone who will speak the truth but will also listen, pray and cry with you.
Most of the time pastors don't have people they can really talk with about the things they deal with. People turn to pastors for their greatest crisis', failures and tragedies but who do pastors turn to? I know, I know. Pastors are supposed to be unshakeable, monumental, and able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Nothing, not even kryptonite, shakes a pastor - right? Most pastors don't have any accountability. Most don't feel like they can truly share life with their staff. Most pastors don't have a true friend. Even most pastor's wives don't understand what their husbands are going through because they aren't involved in it like he is.
What do most pastors do then? They pretend, hide and/or become numb to what they are facing. Most pastors don't feel like they can talk with their pastor or overseers/board because they assume they'll be looked at with a boss mentality instead a commrade. One thing though that every pastor needs is another pastor to talk to - to vent with, to pour out your heart to. Only another pastor can understand better than anyone else. They've been there.
All pastors receive criticism. How do you deal with it? All criticism needs to be looked at to see if it is true and, if so, corrections need to be made. The truth is that whatever the motive is, criticism hurts. Some hurts are good (that's weird to say) but without criticism, we wouldn't grow. The thing I've noticed is that it always hurts though. I've been criticized for the house I live in, how I preach, how much time I spend with my kids and how much time I spend without my kids. I get some that say good job on decisions and others that seem mad with the same decisions. You name it, I've seen the criticism. But, when criticism comes from those who know me and love me I try to always receive it and see what the Lord would have to say to me through it. The Proverb is true that wounds from a friend can be trusted, but real pain is experienced when those who don’t know or those who think they know your intentions in ministry attack you - most of the time in a conversation with someone else (never to your face), through an email, etc. Probalby the criticism that hurts the worst is that which comes after I've labored, prayed and sought the Lord about something.
Real pain occurs when people take a segment of what you said in a sermon or in a conversation and base an entire opinion about you on that. One thing I've learned in ministry - you will be misquoted and misrepresented (mostly by Christians). It's easier for those not mature in the Lord to talk about you than come to you and ask for clarity. Why is it the only time some people talk to you is when you've done something they don't agree with? Why is it they don't tell you about the 9,999 things you've done right?
What do you do though? The feelings come: "If I get remotely upset then I'll be seen as out of control. If I just ignore it then they feel like they were in the right. If I defend myself then I'll be viewed as insecure." If someone is attacking you though, you should search yourself by much prayer, time in the Word and counsel. If you need to repent, then do it. If you were in the wrong, then take care of it. If you are right - be humble about it but do confront and use the Word as your basis for being right.
Pastors, I also know that sometimes you "can never do anything right" in some people's eyes. Your hospital visits are either too long or not long enough. Your sermons are either too shallow or too deep. You're never in the office enough for some and for others, you're in there too much and never get with people. Your decisions are gold for some and ludicrous for others. You are expected to be the expert on all topics - everybody's Bible's dictionary. You must also be available for every phone call, e-mail and every random person that happens to drop by at all hours - even if it means missing your kids ballgames or dinner with your family. When we walk through the crowd we spend too much time with some people and not enough time with others. It seems as lose-lose situation. Because of the nature of the calling, a pastor's every move is being watched and, by many, scrutinized. You don't have 9-5 working hours. The nature of your job is you need to be available 24 hours a day, but who can do that? People will place expectations on a pastor that they would never be willing to live up to themselves. If he asks for help or says he is going under, some pastors are met with, “We pay your salary, get it done!"
This is why many pastors families simply fall apart. This is why many leave the pastorate frustrated and hurt. They sheepishly give in to every expectation placed on them. They never say no and do everything for selfish people who never lift a finger to help (ever notice that those who are negative never have answers or solutions?) So, the pastor spends all his time at every church function, ignores his family, and when his kids mess up a little, they are labeled as "the pastor's kids" and gossiped about instead of prayed for.
Ok, some of this I know is exaggerated. Sometimes, these feelings we have as pastors are vain imaginations. Sometimes it is one negative or critical thing that was actually said and we interprete that to mean we've failed at everything. Let me clarify - I'm fortunate to serve at Family Church. I feel like, for the most part, I can talk with my leadership about the issues of life and the pastorate. But EVERY pastor, including me, faces times of needing another pastor who won't judge, fire, preach at, etc. (even if these feelings are unjustifable). We just need a time to vent. We DO want and should expect our pastor/overseers to hold us accountable, reign us in with scripture, correct us, confront us and tell us things no one else will. A true pastor understands another pastor and knows how and when to tell them the truth (even if they don't want to hear it or ask for it).
Some realities you need to know as a pastor are - 1)things won't always go as planned, 2) no staff or church is perfect, (nothing on the otherside is greener. if it is, is only because they have more manure) 3) your pastor and congregation probably really do care for you, 4) you are not always right and need correction, wisdom and other's opinions, 5) people will let you down, 6) people need time to process your ideas/vision, (you didn't fully understand this thing that is so big inside of you the first time, how can they?), 7) don't let everything get under your skin, and 8) pick your battles.
The biggest reality is this: If you are a pastor who is struggling DON'T GIVE UP! Jesus faced what we do in ministry and identifies with you. What you have surrendered your life to - making disciples and seeing souls saved - is worth any headache, heartache, and pain you may face.
Let me finish by saying this - I love being a pastor. What a calling! What an honor! What an adventure! I've thought about and struggled with every thought I've mentioned above. I've overcome most of them but some reoccur. I've learned to take all these thought captive unto the obedience of Christ. I've learned to talk with my leaders/pastor when they arise. I don't have it all figured out. I'm not the perfect pastor - just ask those who serve under me(on second thought, don't do that). Seriously, if you are a pastor and need an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on, I'll do my best. I promise, like I hope all pastors would, not to agree with you in your negativity or pity party (that's not what most of us want or are doing anyway). I promise to show you the Word and not just "be on your side". Most of us desire a friend - a fellow pastor who will pray with us, challenge us and listen to us. If I can be that to you, I'll do my best. Email me at sharrison@familychurch.ws
Thursday, April 15, 2010
A Case Of Spiritual Heartburn
"I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food." — Job 23:12
The other night as I was putting my daughter Kylee to bed, she grabbed the new Bible we gave her for Christmas and a pen. She rushed into bed and said, “Daddy, I know. We can read something from the Bible, underline it and then when the whole Bible is underlined, we’ll know we’ve read the whole thing.” I laughed and then quickly stopped her before she marked in her Bible. At first I told her no, but then I thought – what a great idea! This little girl wants to read the whole Bible! Why should I stop that sincere love and desire to read and understand God’s word because I don’t want her new Bible to get marked up? It was foolish thinking on my part. We underlined several verses she has memorized and the story of Jesus and the Woman at the Well in John 4. I heard one time that the condition of your Bible reflects the condition of your soul – your time spent with the Lord. Maybe more of us should desire to underline scripture and let the Lord underline it on our hearts. It’s like having “spiritual heartburn”. It keeps you awake at night and won’t let you think about anything else. But this is a good type of heartburn.
What is the first think you think about when you get up in the morning? What is it you think about before you go to bed? The Bible? Some people do. When I get up in the morning, what is the first thing I think about? The Bible? Sometimes. My church? Sometimes. Mostly, it is the day’s agenda and “what’s for breakfast”. Can I be honest? I have to train myself to get into God’s Word. I do that in a couple different ways. I have a couple of email devotionals that I receive daily. I read a couple of blog sites from some pastors I admire. I listen to several different pastors preach through podcasts. But nothing really beats getting out the written word. I love my Bible – especially the one I’ve marked up, duct-taped the spine, highlighted and had since High School.
Think about this. I mentioned food being one of the first, if not the first, thing most people think about when they wake up. How much do you desire your next meal? Probably a lot if it is a nice restaurant or you are extremely hungry. What about your desire for spiritual food? Sometimes I skip lunch because of a hectic schedule. The thought crossed my mind “wouldn't it be great if I also were willing to neglect a physical meal to make time for the Word of God?” I like what Job said about God's Word, "I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food" (Job 23:12).
Does your heart burn for the Lord and His Word? It was inside of my daughter that night and I almost extinguished it. Do you remember the two discouraged disciples on the Emmaus road? They were saddened because, in their mind, Jesus had gotten himself killed before establishing the kind of kingdom they anticipated. They were walking along discouraged, when a stranger joined them. Although they didn't know it, it was Jesus himself. He spoke to them about all the things in Scripture concerning himself. By the end of the journey, their hearts were burning again for the Lord.
When He disappeared, they said, "Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32).
Spiritual heartburn only comes from taking in the Word. It is almost an over indulgence of the Word. All of us could use some “Spiritual heartburn”. And we will get it when Jesus Christ speaks to us through His Word. I pray your heart burns with excitement and anticipation of what He has to say to you through His written Word.
The other night as I was putting my daughter Kylee to bed, she grabbed the new Bible we gave her for Christmas and a pen. She rushed into bed and said, “Daddy, I know. We can read something from the Bible, underline it and then when the whole Bible is underlined, we’ll know we’ve read the whole thing.” I laughed and then quickly stopped her before she marked in her Bible. At first I told her no, but then I thought – what a great idea! This little girl wants to read the whole Bible! Why should I stop that sincere love and desire to read and understand God’s word because I don’t want her new Bible to get marked up? It was foolish thinking on my part. We underlined several verses she has memorized and the story of Jesus and the Woman at the Well in John 4. I heard one time that the condition of your Bible reflects the condition of your soul – your time spent with the Lord. Maybe more of us should desire to underline scripture and let the Lord underline it on our hearts. It’s like having “spiritual heartburn”. It keeps you awake at night and won’t let you think about anything else. But this is a good type of heartburn.
What is the first think you think about when you get up in the morning? What is it you think about before you go to bed? The Bible? Some people do. When I get up in the morning, what is the first thing I think about? The Bible? Sometimes. My church? Sometimes. Mostly, it is the day’s agenda and “what’s for breakfast”. Can I be honest? I have to train myself to get into God’s Word. I do that in a couple different ways. I have a couple of email devotionals that I receive daily. I read a couple of blog sites from some pastors I admire. I listen to several different pastors preach through podcasts. But nothing really beats getting out the written word. I love my Bible – especially the one I’ve marked up, duct-taped the spine, highlighted and had since High School.
Think about this. I mentioned food being one of the first, if not the first, thing most people think about when they wake up. How much do you desire your next meal? Probably a lot if it is a nice restaurant or you are extremely hungry. What about your desire for spiritual food? Sometimes I skip lunch because of a hectic schedule. The thought crossed my mind “wouldn't it be great if I also were willing to neglect a physical meal to make time for the Word of God?” I like what Job said about God's Word, "I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food" (Job 23:12).
Does your heart burn for the Lord and His Word? It was inside of my daughter that night and I almost extinguished it. Do you remember the two discouraged disciples on the Emmaus road? They were saddened because, in their mind, Jesus had gotten himself killed before establishing the kind of kingdom they anticipated. They were walking along discouraged, when a stranger joined them. Although they didn't know it, it was Jesus himself. He spoke to them about all the things in Scripture concerning himself. By the end of the journey, their hearts were burning again for the Lord.
When He disappeared, they said, "Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32).
Spiritual heartburn only comes from taking in the Word. It is almost an over indulgence of the Word. All of us could use some “Spiritual heartburn”. And we will get it when Jesus Christ speaks to us through His Word. I pray your heart burns with excitement and anticipation of what He has to say to you through His written Word.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Genuine Leadership
I hate it when someone has a title and flaunts it. It really makes you not want to do what they say. It is almost like they have to prove that they are the boss. I heard John Maxwell say one time that if no one is following you, you are just out taking a walk. Servanthood leadership is the best. It is not just "do as I say" but "do as I do".
Paul understood how to do this right. He knew that he was to be a servant-leader, not a dictator. In 2 Corinthians 1:24, Paul wrote, “Not that we have dominion over your faith, but are fellow workers for your joy...” Of all people, Paul could have claimed dominion over another’s faith but instead considered himself a “member of the team,” charged with helping people mature in their faith. Paul led by example not by militant rule.
1 Peter 5:1-3 is another great example of servanthood leadership: “The elders who are among you I exhort...Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion...nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.” One of the scriptures most misused in authority is Hebrews 13:17. It is a scripture that is truth - people should obey those in authority. But it is also commonly used to justify abusive control and authoritarianism by the leaders of some churches. Hebrews 13:17 instructs believers to, “Obey those who rule over you…” These leaders think that this means they have blanket authority over the flock entrusted to them and that they can proceed to take control over the personal lives and personal faith of believers. Nothing in this verse gives church leadership unrestrained control over the lives of others. Instead it teaches believers to consider the example set by truly loving, God-fearing, servant-leaders that lead us to Christ.
I don't know of anyone on our staff, elder team, deacons or leadership that repeatedly acts this way. I see all of our church leadership serving, giving and leading by example. I do think that any of them (me included) could fall into this if we aren't careful to be humble - led by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Humility, servanthood and glorifying Christ have to be at the forefront of our minds as leaders.
I don't want someone to obey me just cause I say so or have a title. My kids do that when I say things like "clean your room", but that's my kids. The goal is for them to obey me in the Lord according to Ephesians 6:1-3 ONLY as I do Ephesians 6:4 - don't provoke them to anger and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. I can only do this as I grow in the Lord and realize that all authority comes from Him and that I am just a steward of what he has entrusted me with.
Teach me Lord to know that the head of every man is Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3). Teach me to lay down my life for those who I serve and lead (1 John 3:16).
Paul understood how to do this right. He knew that he was to be a servant-leader, not a dictator. In 2 Corinthians 1:24, Paul wrote, “Not that we have dominion over your faith, but are fellow workers for your joy...” Of all people, Paul could have claimed dominion over another’s faith but instead considered himself a “member of the team,” charged with helping people mature in their faith. Paul led by example not by militant rule.
1 Peter 5:1-3 is another great example of servanthood leadership: “The elders who are among you I exhort...Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion...nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.” One of the scriptures most misused in authority is Hebrews 13:17. It is a scripture that is truth - people should obey those in authority. But it is also commonly used to justify abusive control and authoritarianism by the leaders of some churches. Hebrews 13:17 instructs believers to, “Obey those who rule over you…” These leaders think that this means they have blanket authority over the flock entrusted to them and that they can proceed to take control over the personal lives and personal faith of believers. Nothing in this verse gives church leadership unrestrained control over the lives of others. Instead it teaches believers to consider the example set by truly loving, God-fearing, servant-leaders that lead us to Christ.
I don't know of anyone on our staff, elder team, deacons or leadership that repeatedly acts this way. I see all of our church leadership serving, giving and leading by example. I do think that any of them (me included) could fall into this if we aren't careful to be humble - led by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Humility, servanthood and glorifying Christ have to be at the forefront of our minds as leaders.
I don't want someone to obey me just cause I say so or have a title. My kids do that when I say things like "clean your room", but that's my kids. The goal is for them to obey me in the Lord according to Ephesians 6:1-3 ONLY as I do Ephesians 6:4 - don't provoke them to anger and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. I can only do this as I grow in the Lord and realize that all authority comes from Him and that I am just a steward of what he has entrusted me with.
Teach me Lord to know that the head of every man is Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3). Teach me to lay down my life for those who I serve and lead (1 John 3:16).
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